West Ham United women’s captain Gilly Flaherty has spoken of her personal battle with mental health, after attempting to take her own life as a teenager.
Talking openly for the first time about her suicide attempt on Time To Talk Day, and in endorsement of the Heads Up campaign, Flaherty hopes that her honest account of her past mental health struggles will help anyone in a similar position to talk about their feelings and seek support.
“My battle with my mental health started when I was 16 or 17, when I felt I was struggling the most,” Flaherty said. “I was away from my family at the Arsenal Academy, I wasn’t doing well with my schoolwork and I was going through other issues as well, such as my sexuality.
“I was playing with Arsenal first team but was on the bench which, looking back, wasn’t a surprise when you consider the team they had. But I didn’t handle that well and, when combined with everything else, a lot of things built up. It led to my lowest moment. The day when I took my overdose.
“I remember going back to my house at Arsenal Academy and doing it. I was speaking to a friend on Facebook Messenger who was in America at the time and I think she could tell I was down. I went to bed but, on the doors you had a lock like you would for a front door. My lock was broken so it was on the latch.
“My friend in America alerted people at home, and then my friend came back, found me in the bedroom and took me straight to hospital.”
It was at hospital where Flaherty learned just how close to losing her life she had been.
“I remember not knowing what was going to happen as I went into hospital. One of the Arsenal players at the time, Jayne Ludlow, also worked with the Academy, and she got in touch with my Mum and Dad. I remember begging her not to tell them, because I didn’t want to get told off, but then the doctors came and explained the reality. I was so close to having to be on dialysis. I wasn’t far away from dying.
“Laying in hospital, with a drip attached, and my Mum and Dad arriving, that was the lowest I have ever felt in my life.”
By her own admission, the women’s captain could have easily not talked about her battles and let them lie, but a drive to help other people means that Flaherty was ready to share her story.
Flaherty hopes that her openness will help anyone reading that is struggling with their own mental welfare to reach out for support, talk about their battles, and look for better mental health.
“I think I could have gone through my whole career without mentioning what I’ve been through,” Flaherty added. “But then I think that I’ve got a duty, that I’m in a position where I could affect people in a good way.
“People will probably be shocked. I think they won't be expecting this from me, because I'm such a bubbly person and I'm always happy, and I am now. But I wasn't, and there's a reason why I wasn't.
“I’m a lot stronger now, but it’s only now that I feel really comfortable enough to share that. For me, if I could save one person from doing something drastic, then I’ve made a difference.”
West Ham United is committed to ensuring players and staff receive all the support they need, and actively promotes ways in which employees can improve their mental health and wellbeing. In addition, all staff are given mandatory mental health awareness training.
Whether you or someone you know is struggling, or if you want to help dispel the stigma, kick off a conversation about mental health this weekend.
Join the conversation using #KickOffAConversation and #HeadsUp.
Find out more and get tips from Heads Up’s charity partners (Mind, CALM, Sporting Chance and Heads Together) – visit www.headstogether.org.uk/heads-up.
Those wanting immediate support can also text ‘HeadsUp’ to 85258 to connect with a trained crisis volunteer – a service run by ‘Shout’ and powered by Crisis Text Line, which is available 24/7 and free to text from most mobile networks.