West Ham had two players red carded, the first of whom was Liam Parrington - who walked after a second bookable offence - and Tony says:
"The first sending off was obviously the crucial one after Liam had made a gift of a goal to them with a horrendous back pass.
"The second sending off was in the last moment so it had very little influence on the game.
"But to gift them a goal and then get a man sent off left us with a mountain to climb after that."
Sam Wright was expulsed just before the end of the game, but Tony admits that, to some degree, the damage was already done.
"I thought we were disappointing in the first half and to concede from a corner just before half time was doubly disappointing, because we are normally pretty good on set plays.
"We had two or three attempts to get it away but couldn't and they nudged it over the line.
"In the second half we were there to give them a game until the bizarre incident which was the goal and then the sending off.
"But, to be fair, after that point we made a couple of substitutions; with 10 men I thought we took the game to them, brought a couple of good saves from their goalkeeper, and had a couple of near misses.
"But on the night it wasn't to be."
Tony certainly sees some positives from this year's campaign, and adds:
"I am pleased we have got to the last eight of the FA Youth cup, which is an achievement in itself, but I am disappointed in the overall performance and result tonight.
"The two sendings off were for two bookings and one of the bookings for both players was for dissent.
"It is a very harsh lesson for both boys that they must not get booked for dissent because with a second booking you are off the pitch - and that happened tonight.
There is a lot of learning to be done but I must say it was a heroic display in the second half against a good Villa team."