"We definitely should have won today, there's no doubt about that," said the disappointed Hammers boss, after goals from makeshift captain Joe Cole and makeshift striker Ian Pearce had looked set to bag all three points, before agonising equalisers left us still rooted to the bottom of the Premiership table.
"I've got no complaints, though. Our effort, our team spirit and our quality, it's just a shame that we haven't held on. The players are sad, because they know we should have won twice this week, both on Monday and today, yet we've only got one point to show for our efforts."
Both sides came in to this match on the back of 1-0 losses. Unbeaten at home, Boro made one change following their defeat at West Bromwich Albion, as Joseph Desire Job's fractured skull led to Franck Quedrue's recall.
Hammers made one switch, too, as Edouard Cisse replaced the sidelined Paolo Di Canio, ruled out after sustaining a knee injury in Monday's defeat against Southampton, while Cole surprisingly took over the skipper's armband from the incapacitated Italian.
Without a win in seven games, West Ham needed a captain's innings from the young England midfielder and his team-mates, and they almost got off to a dream start when Trevor Sinclair met Michael Carrick's second minute corner, only for his header to be cleared off the line by Jonathan Greening.
In a lively opening, Boro threatened too, as Geremi burst clear before dragging his 12-yarder wide. The same player also threatened on the quarter hour mark, when Ehiogu's hopeful up and under was met by the Cameroon international, whose diving header forced James into a full length save.
From the resulting corner, makeshift forward Ian Pearce, trying to help out back in his own area, was grateful to see his attempted headed clearance thud back off the Hammers' crossbar.
Midway through the half, it was West Ham's turn to put Steve McClaren's men on the back foot, when Jermain Defoe's 20-yard snapshot was saved by Mark Schwarzer, who then tipped over Cisse's impressive dipping effort from a similar range.
How West Ham longed for a master finisher as Boro struggled to deal with the consequent corner and Pearce could only scuff at the grounded Schwarzer, while just before the break the stand-in striker again failed to find the net after Sinclair's glancing header was only parried by the relieved Aussie
However, moments after stepping back into the freezing Teeside air for the start of the second half, Hammers caught Boro cold. The industrious Cisse threaded the ball to Defoe on the right and he invited an overlapping Cole to fire the visitors ahead with a low angled 15-yarder that found the net via Schwarzer's far post.
David James denied the hitherto anonymous Alen Boksic an instant equaliser, before Defoe was prevented from doubling Hammers' lead by Schwarzer, who clawed his stinging 18-yarder away.
But on 58 minutes, the visitors saw the initiative wrenched from their grasp when half-time substitute Szilard Nemeth played a one-two with Boksic and climaxed his electrifying burst into the box with an angled shot that sizzled across James before going in off the base of the far upright.
As the few hundred or so Upton Park diehards now braced themselves for the worst, though, defiant Hammers continued to play like the side that was down but far from out.
They were rewarded again on 77 minutes, when Carrick - man of the match for the second successive game - embarked on another trademark charge from halfway and found Defoe with a superb crossfield ball.
The young striker saw his initial shot blocked, but the falling Pearce finally found his shooting boots and fired a rising 10-yarder under Schwarzer's left hand angle to send all from east London wild.
Tomas Repka's eighth booking of the season, for deliberate handball in the 79th minute, seemed the least of Hammers' worries as they looked to be heading for their fourth away win of the season but then, with just three minutes remaining, came that cruel blow of Ehiogu's equaliser, when Geremi's deep corner floated beyond the hesitant James and the towering Boro defender comfortably headed home at the far post.
Once again, a devastating blow for Roeder and his brave troops at the very end of a performance that deserved three points and, with a daunting trip to Old Trafford next on the fixture list, it will take another determined display to gain a result against Sir Alex Ferguson's side.
The Hammers boss gave a clear sign of his intentions, though, when he concluded defiantly: "We know we're in for a long haul, this won't go away quickly, but I know what's required and we're positive about the challenge."