Holland may be going to the World Cup next summer after all, but it certainly won't be the tangerine footballing dream-team from the Lowlands - but it could well be their namesake Matt, who helped knock them out. Michael Carrick on the other hand is in international purgatory - nearly always in the squad but not a regular starter.
This game should be a lush spectacle of pass-and-move football as two teams who try to play the game the right way meet, but reality is a cold shower. Both teams have completed 72% of their passes, which is below average and failure to meet self-set standards sums up the fortunes of both these sides.
Individually though, there are more satisfactory outcomes. Carrick has found a team-mate with 78% of his distribution while Holland has racked up a rather Netherlandesque 83% success rate.
Holland has attempted 22 tackles and has come out the other side with the ball on 82% of the occasions which further leads you to believe that his name is rather apt. Currently, there isn't an international football team called Carrick, but if there were, they would be as solid as the Wu-Tang Clan because this Hammer has won 92% of his challenges. 'Nuff respect.
Both of these players like a pop at goal and the odds of them getting the first strike of the game are 14/1 for the Irishman and 16/1 for the Englishman according to Hammers Bet. East-end scientists who wear lots of jewellery have proved that gambling IS big and IS clever after all, so there's no excuse for not betting on the game.
If you need further enticement to part with your money then it's worth nothing that Carrick has rained in more shots (10) than any other West Ham midfielder, while Holland has attempted 13 shots of his own so far this season. Neither have scored yet and are due a goal right about now.
It may not be Kylie-sexy football emanating from this pair, but after some of some of the minging performances on show this season, you have to say they are a more attractive prospect than most. Holland and Carrick should have need to invest in some guidebooks to Japan and Korea later in the year, but before they do, they will have to move their game up a gear in the Premiership - starting in Suffolk this weekend.