For Maximilian Kilman, 23 May is a day for both celebration and commemoration, for both poignancy and pride.
For, while today marks the West Ham United defender’s 28th birthday, it is also a day to gather with his family and remember his father Alex, who passed away in 2020.
Kilman and his girlfriend will join his mother Maria and younger brother Michael and enjoy a meal of his favourite Japanese food, where they will raise a toast to Alex and the influential role he played on the young Maximilian’s life and football journey.
That journey was not always the smoothest, as Kilman was turned down by a number of clubs, including West Ham, as a nine-year-old, was signed and then released by Fulham at 14, had a succession of unsuccessful trials before joining Gillingham’s academy and making his senior breakthrough at semi-professional non-league club Maidenhead United.
At 18, he was capped by England at futsal, the indoor five-a-side sport played with a small ball, and the skills he honed there, combined with the toughness required to play non-league football, saw him make the leap from National League to Premier League with Wolverhampton Wanderers in 2018, aged 21.
Kilman broke into Wolves’ first team in October 2020. The following month, Alex died, and the mentor, inspiration and father who had been there for Maximilian through all those ups and downs was no longer there.
Nearly five years on, the centre-back remembers his Dad before every match by pointing to the sky and thanking him for the love and support he - and Maria - have always given him.
As he turns 28, Kilman is also guiding his little brother on his own footballing journey. Michael is 13 and currently at Chelsea’s academy. His elder sibling is there to provide advice and assurance and share experience to help him along his own path to what both hope will ultimately see a second Kilman play in the Premier League.
The first is doing that more often than almost any other player. The No26 has not missed a Premier League start since May 2023, and has started 112 of the last 113 top-flight matches for West Ham and previous club Wolves.
Incredibly, Kilman has missed just 71 minutes of Premier League football this term and played more minutes - 9,987 - than any other outfield player since the start of the 2022/23 season.
Ahead of his final appearance of another ever-present season at Ipswich Town on Sunday, he spoke to whufc.com about his determination to keep playing and making his family proud…
Happy birthday Max! What will you do to celebrate?
“I’m just going for some dinner with family and some close friends. We’re going to get some Japanese food to keep it healthy as we’ve still got one more game to finish on Sunday. I like Japanese food but I don’t like sushi, so it’s a weird thing to say, but I like all the chicken, beef and rice dishes and stuff like that!”
You’re turning 28, so coming into the prime of your career!
“I hope so!”
You’ve got an incredible appearance record over the last three seasons. What an achievement?
“Yeah, I think I’ve been quite consistent in the last couple of years, getting into being a regular in the Premier League. I think I’m doing well in that regard, but of course I think I’ve still got much more to give. Even looking to next season, I want to improve again and show what more I can do, and we can produce more as a team on the pitch.”
What is the secret of your fitness and resilience?
“I look after myself, but I think it’s a lot of luck as well, because it takes maybe one unlucky step or someone to kick you, unfortunately, and it could all change. I just keep my head down working, trying to stay as fit as I can and being as robust as I can.
“To be honest, I think I’ve improved a lot with my nutrition, my diet and my sleep. Of course, there’s much more room for improvement because I don’t think I’m perfect at all. But definitely, I think, as I’m getting into being more of a senior player, I’ve definitely focused on that side of football because that can give you an extra five, ten per cent. I think it’s definitely helped when it comes to training and games and made me a better professional all round.”
You make sacrifices too, like you’ll toast your birthday with a glass of water rather than wine tonight?
“I think it’s more that you have to make a lot of sacrifices as a kid, when your mates are probably going out doing other things after school, I’ve always been in the car going to training. Those are the main sacrifices.
“I think now as a first-team footballer, you do have to make sacrifices, of course, but we have such a regimented schedule, we all have to follow that. Everyone has those kind of decisions they have to make in life and I made mine as a kid to stay focused, disciplined and be mature to achieve my aim of becoming a footballer.
“I think that’s the real test, when you’re younger, as when you become an adult this is your job and career and something you love to do, so you do what you have to do.”
You love being a footballer, don’t you?
“Of course! But there was actually a point when I was younger and trying to make it as a footballer when I didn’t enjoy it so much. So obviously now when you look back and then to where I am now in my career, I’m so grateful that I stayed at it and for the help I got from my family and parents to keep me going. Now, I love every minute of it.
“This is my first season at West Ham and, of course, it’s not been the best season as a whole, as a Club, but I’ve still enjoyed being here so much, playing in front of 62,500 fans at London Stadium and making the new mates I’ve made at West Ham, so it’s been a good journey, but of course there is so much more to achieve.
“There’s so much more to achieve and, as I said, next season I want to get even better and hopefully we can all improve as a team.”
Looking back, can you tell us about the challenges you had as a young player?
“When you get released and you go on so many trials and you just think ‘Why am I doing this?’. It’s not great, but I was lucky that I had a lot of push from my parents to just give me that ‘Come on, we need to go again and keep going’ and ‘You’ll find your love for the game’.
“I had two phases. When I was nine years old, my Dad was taking me to a lot of academies and one of them was actually West Ham and I’ve got a picture of me on the pitch with the team in a West Ham shirt!
“I went on a lot of trials then, when I got to ten, I got into Fulham. I started progressing quite well, developing really well. Then, when I got to 14, I got released from Fulham and that’s when I thought, ‘wow’ as it was just a complete surprise and I never expected it to happen. I thought I was going to be at Fulham and become a first-team player. That was the dream. And then I got released.
“After that I went on to so many different trials at so many different clubs. That period was really tough from the ages of 14 to 16, when I wasn’t really at a club and going on trials. I found it quite difficult to go into new environments, go on trial, meet a new group of lads and try to fit in.
“At that age you’ve got school and exams as well, you’re a teenager, you’re going through different phases in your life, so it was tough. But as I said, I was very lucky that I had a good support system around me too, just to guide me in the right direction and keep me focused on being a footballer.”
Your parents were there for you, so you must be incredibly grateful, but also incredibly sad that your Dad is not here to see you as a Premier League regular?
“Without them, I wouldn’t be where I am, not just as a footballer, but as a person, because they’ve helped me to become a better man and to grow as an adult.
“It’s also been very difficult. Since I lost my Dad I’ve started to play in the Premier League and been really consistent and it’s difficult that I’ve not had him by my side and had that someone that I can speak to because he would be the first person I’d just speak to and ask for some advice, or he would talk to me about the game and say ‘You’ve done this well’ or ‘You could have done that better’.
“I had that through my whole life growing up, becoming a footballer. Then once I got to the pinnacle and I started becoming a regular in the Premier League, he wasn’t there anymore, so I think that was the most difficult part of my life.
“But I think at the same time, to play and to carry on playing, I know that’s what my Dad wanted me to do, which helped me keep going. And I think that’s why I’m proud of myself in that way. Of course, I’ve not had the most important person in my life there with me, but I’m keeping my head down and trying to keep improving and I’m doing it for me as much as I’m doing it for my Mum and Dad.”
To lose that person who will be there for you at any time, in any circumstances, is so hard…
“I had a really good relationship with him and we were both football mad and the whole journey was not just me, it was me and him on this journey. Of course, my Mum was on the journey as well, but she helped with other stuff and the football journey was mainly me and my Dad.
“Now it’s really nice to see that my Mum’s kind of taken that role for my little brother and she’s doing the dual parenting role of being the mother and father to him, doing everything, so I’m really proud of her.”
And you are also helping your little brother, too?
“My brother is 13 and he’s at the same stage where I struggled. He’s a footballer and plays for Chelsea in the academy, so I hope we’ll see another Kilman in the Premier League. I think he’s got the right temperament and he’s got a good mentality. So we need to keep him as grounded as possible and help him along in his journey.
“I’m obviously trying to be a good role model for him because he’s got lots of ability and potential, but he’s also got a good mentality so let’s hope he stays on that trajectory.”
